The clock has just struck midnight and creeps toward the early morning hours. Some innocuous tunes play on the jukebox. The only breathing souls in the bar are the bartender, who is doing busy work, and a thirty something woman staring at an empty glass.
In walks a man in his forties wearing a denim shirt and jeans. He sits on the stool next to the woman. He motions to the bartender, “I’ll have Jack neat and whatever she wants.”
“Bloody Mary,” says the woman.
“Hi how are you?” The man says.
“Is that the best pickup line you have?” she asks with a bit of contempt in her voice.
“What makes you think I want to pick you up?”
She looks to her right, and then she looks to her left, past the stranger. “We are the only two in this bar, and you chose to sit next to me.”
“We are not the only two in this bar.” The man’s head tips toward the bartender.
“Well, tell me, why did you choose to sit next to me?”
“I chose to sit next to you because you look like you could use some company.”
The bartender placed the glass of Jack in front of the stranger and a Bloody Mary in front of the woman.
She takes a sip from her drink. “I have all the company I need.”
He places both his hands around his drink. Then he gives her a side glance, taking note of her short black dress and her empty shoes sitting on the floor. “You look like someone must of have stood you up tonight.”
“That’s none of your business.” She gives him a long look from his head to his hiking boots and back up again. “You sure don’t look like you are out to pick up a lay for the night.”
“What’s wrong with the way I dress? My clothes are clean, and I did take a shower before I left my place.”
“Are you trying to say, since no one else will take me home, you are available?”
“Did you hear me say those words?”
“No, but you chose to sit next to me and talk with me.”
“I could be curious to why you are sitting here.”
“Have you considered that I could be here waiting for the bartender to get off and take me home?”
“I doubt that. He looks gay.”
The bartender shoots them a grin.
“Are you gay?”
“Would I be talking to you if I were gay?”
“I know you are not going to take me home.”
“Why is that?”
“I’m on my period.”
“Is that so.” The man looks at the woman’s drink. “Don’t tell me your name is Mary?”
“Why else would I be drinking a Bloody Mary? That’s my way of giving you a hint.”
“I ordered a neat Jack. What does that tell you about me?”
“Your name is Jack, and you think you are a neat guy.”
The bartender approaches the two and says, “It’s one in the morning. I would like to get out of here by two. Do either one of you want another?”
“I’m good. Give the lady another round.”
Mary slides her empty glass toward the bartender. “Tell me what brings you out this late, neat Jack.”
“Only if you tell me your story first, Bloody Mary.”
“What makes you think I have a story?”
“You are all dressed up like you were set to go out to dinner and dancing, but you are sitting here in an empty bar.”
Mary downs her second Bloody Mary in one long drink. “I had a boyfriend. We were to go out for our second anniversary when he hit me.”
“Was that the first time he hit you?”
“No, I’ve put up with it over the whole time we were together. Tonight, he insisted I put on a different dress and then hit me. I lost it. I grabbed his baseball bat and beat him. Then I cleaned up and came down here to celebrate my independence.”
Mary took a deep breath. “Your turn. Tell me why you are here?”
“I was getting ready to take my family on a camping trip for the weekend when I got a call. You see, I’m a homicide detective. I was called to your apartment. I saw what you did. Because of you, I won’t be able to take my family for the weekend camping.”
“How did you find me?”
“A neighbor saw you leave your apartment and come down here. I wanted to get your story before arresting you.”
“So, you are here to pick me up, after all?”
“No, I am not here to pick you up. I am here to arrest you, Bloody Mary. Stand up.”
