Standing in the doorway of the hooch, he felt at odds with himself. Over the past few months, he has changed identities. Born and raised as Curtis Mathis. The only way he could fulfill his dream of getting in the military, he took on the identity of Carl Daniels.
What set him on this confusing path was finally accepting his uncle’s wish to join the military. Curtis had screwed up his life so much that no branch of the military would accept him. Through the help of a stranger, he got a new name and birth certificate that allowed him to be Carl Daniels.
After making it through boot camp and advanced combat training, he felt he was finally on the path of being who he was meant to be. Just when he began to get a handle of being a soldier in Vietnam, his teammates were killed and his captain ordered him to switch dog tags and shirt with his sergeant.
Now he stands in the doorway as Sgt. Jake Collins with the orders to pack up the personal items of the three fallen soldiers who were killed in front of him.
Looking at the empty bunks, Sgt. Collins could picture how they laughed and joked the night before. He never imagined that twenty-four hours would be so different. He had not known Jack, Mike and the real Sgt. Collins long enough to feel like part of the squad. Seeing them killed a few feet away brought out emotions he didn’t understand. He had never felt such sadness coupled with survivors’ guilt before.
As Curtis, he remembered what all of his old girlfriends would tell him when they broke up with him. They all complained that the only emotion he had involved getting his way. The doctors at the mental hospital told Curtis he needed to learn to label his emotions as he felt them. That evening he wished he could suppress what he was feeling now.
The new Sgt. Jake Collins assumed command of his emotions and approached the first bunk. It belonged to Jack. It was Jack who broke out a box of Hershey’s chocolates and passed them out to some local children. The look on Jack’s face said he enjoyed passing out the candy as much as, if not more than, the children receiving the candy.
Collins found a shoebox full of letters. He could not resist reading some of them. They were mostly letters from his parents and his high school football coach.
Jack’s belongings were placed in a cardboard box and sealed. Collins wrote his name on the top and the side with a marker.
Jake moved on to the second bunk belonging to Mike. He was heavier than most soldiers. When Mike took him to the obstacle course/firing range, he acted more like a drill instructor. Carl didn’t hold back; he buzzed through the course in almost record time. Afterwards, Mike didn’t smile. He just gave him a thumbs-up.
Jake resisted reading Mike’s mail. He found several cases of candy bars under Mike’s bunk. “So that’s where Jack got the candy bars.” Jake thought. “But why so many?” He remembered Mike looking larger around the middle than most other soldiers.
It started to get dark when Jake sealed the box with Mike’s personal possessions. He looked over at his bunk, then back at Mike and Jack’s. He stared down at the real Sgt. Collins’ bunk and back at his bunk. A lightning bolt hit him between the eyes.
“I’m not like any of these men.” Curtis said aloud. “They shouldn’t even be considered soldiers!”
From meeting Captain Phillips in the stockade to walking out of his office. Every little thing Private Carl Daniels felt things were not right. At that moment it all came together. Fourth squad and Capt. Phillips were profiting from the sale of children. Curtis did not want to think about what else they did for money.
Items were being flung every which way. Soldiers passing by knew better than interfere with what went on in Fourth Squad hooch. Being exhausted, Curtis dropped to the floor.
Curtis Mathis, aka Private Carl Daniels, and now as Sgt. Jake Collins determined he would make Fourth Squad better. Something different from what Capt. Phillips, Sgt. Collins, Mike, and Jack had made it. He didn’t know how, but he was going to do it.
Through the last of the daylight, he packed up what few personal items he had. In his enlistment papers, Carl put Crystal as the person to notify if he ever got hurt or killed. He knew he would have to put a letter inside the personal belongings that were to be shipped to her. That letter would explain to her about the name change and promotion to sergeant and she should expect a letter from Sgt. Jake Collins in a few days.
***
The rays of first light shone into the hooch of Fourth Squad. It woke Curtis, lying on Sgt. Jake Collins’ bunk. He had fallen asleep from the emotional and physical exhaustion.
He rolled out of bed and began going through Collins’ footlocker. Since he was to pretend to be him, he needed to know something about him.
In his footlocker were two cigar boxes and a bottle of Jack Daniel’s. One cigar box looked new. It had three cigars missing. Curtis put one in his mouth. He immediately took it out and set it on the nightstand.
The second cigar box had a woman’s picture taped to the outside. What he saw inside affected him emotionally. The rough and tough Sgt. Jake Collins kept his pain in that box. There was a Dear John letter from this woman who broke off the engagement a week after he arrived in Vietnam. She had met a Navy jet pilot who could deliver more than a foot soldier.
Curtis found with the letter a plastic bag containing dog tags. Upon closer examination, they all had different names. Curtis took a couple shots from the whiskey bottle before pondering who owned the dog tags.
All soldiers are issued two dog tags with their name and identifiable information. They are to keep them hung around their necks. When a soldier is killed in action. One of the dog tags gets placed in the dead soldier’s mouth for identification purposes. The second one was given to the commanding officer.
Curtis’s eyes widened at the realization that those dog tags were from dead soldiers under his command. Instead of passing them on, after Collins did the paperwork, he kept them.
Curtis had to take another swig of whiskey. He didn’t want to see anymore of his squad get killed. That was another thing he was going to do as the new Sgt. Collins of Fourth Squad.
