Sgt. Psycho stood in the doorway of Capt. Phillip’s office. His right hand stayed above his brow as he said, “Sgt. Psycho here, sir.”
Capt. Phillips eyed the one soldier he regretted ever bailing out of the stockade. “Come in and have a seat.”
With the confidence of an Academy Award-winning movie star, Sgt. Psycho sat in the chair in front of the Captain’s desk.
“I have never heard of any soldier having as many name changes in such a short time as you.”
Psycho nodded.
“I heard about you shooting a water buffalo and claiming it to be a Viet Cong spy. If it were me, I would have put you back in the stockade.”
“Aren’t you going to offer me a beer?” Psycho asked.
“No. I don’t know how you did it. You impressed some black ops Colonel. He’s going to have you and your squad work for him as needed.”
Psycho thought it best to remain silent. The first thing the Army taught him at boot camp was to speak only after a question was asked.
Capt. Phillips tossed to Psycho his new dog tags. “Here are your new tags to go along with your new identity. I understand the real Sgt. Collins’ tags are with his body.”
“Thank you, sir,” Psycho hung the new tags around his neck.
“I understand you picked up two new members for your squad.”
“Shadow helped us get transportation back to base. Pham lost his family to the Viet Cong. He’s a Montagnard. I believe he will make the perfect interpreter and help in completing any mission we are given.”
“Proper military protocol requires you to submit a written request to get assigned new men.”
“Sorry, sir.”
“Don’t sorry me. If it weren’t for me getting orders from above about you…. Well, you’re lucky.” The captain’s face turned varying shades of pink.
“When do we start going out on patrol?” Psycho asked, keeping his unwavering confidence.
“You have only been in this miserable country a month and only seen real action once when you saved my butt.”
“Don’t forget I was top of my class in advanced infantry.”
“So you say. I have no official record of that. All of your records before today have been classified above my pay grade.”
“What then is our next assignment?”
“I’m going to give you something, I know you and your squad should be able to handle.”
Capt. Phillips passed Psycho a hand-drawn map outlining the base and an adjoining village. “A lion has been seen on the other-side of the village. It has been killing their livestock and threatening an off-base officers’ club. A good way for your squad to prove themselves is by eliminating the threat.”
“But, sir.”
“You have your orders, Sergeant.” Capt. Phillips pointed to his door. “You’re dismissed.”
#
***
On his way back to the hooch, Psycho took a side trip by the morgue. There he found Lt. Doyle zipping up a body bag.
“Just in time.” She said. “You can help me put this soldier in the casket and in the cooler. He won’t be shipped back to the States until the day after tomorrow.”
Psycho helped the Lieutenant as she directed. When finished, he asked, “How did a hot-looking babe like you end up in this country working with stiffs?”
“I could tell you, but I would be shipping you back to the States in that spare casket over there.”
Psycho took a couple of steps back, realizing it was best to change the subject. “Sorry, I came here because I need something that will knock a large man out for several hours.”
“Who are going to kidnap?”
“I’m not going to kidnap anyone. Well, I want to sedate a lion and move him.”
“Why do you want to relocate a lion?”
“Capt. Phillips assigned C4 to eliminate a lion that is threatening a village next to the base and an officers’ club. I figure it would be best to just move him to where the lion could threaten some Viet Cong.”
“That’s the craziest thing I have ever heard of.”
“I beg your pardon. It is a psychotic thing.”
Lt. Doyle looked to the ground and shook her head.
“The Colonel said you could get me whatever I needed.”
The Lieutenant didn’t say a word. There was a pause before her eyes widened. “I can get you a syringe with a sedative used in putting patients under in the operating room. But you will have to get next to the lion to inject the needle in him and press the plunger.”
“I am sure we can come up with a method. If need be, I will sneak up on the lion while he’s sleeping.”
“Wait right here. I’ll be back in five minutes.”
Lt. Doyle put her hand on the door handle when Psycho asked. “Are you going to leave me here alone with these dead bodies?”
“I’m not worried about what they will do to you.”
Psycho overheard Doyle, “Why did I have to get stuck with this jerk?”
